also, i HATE being in school.
i hate class. i hate homework. i hate teachers. even good ones. i hate studying- or trying to.

we painted our new apartment yellow this weekend. parents, sisters, new apartment, things are beginning to get exciting. except that i had a test this morning,a nd work this afternoon, and none of them involved mark, or dallas, or being away from commerce, in general.

but i've spent the afternoon looking at things on rivendell, to compensate. mostly their bags, racks, etc. trying to stay away from bikes, seats, and the other sorts of things that i don't actually need. i really want some good, pretty bags/panniers so i can go off to tomthumb/central market/borders by myself, and not have to use the car. some things make this hard.
-size: obviously i iwll not buy as many groceries at once as i do now, but it would be nice to be able to fit quite alot in these babies. i also like the idea of us cutting down on unnessecary large food items, and going for smaller ones. not that we eat that much food in the first place, in fact, we need to eat more. but i think we should buy food when we need it, and not just because we ran out.
-look: i believe in cycling apparatus that does not coordinate with rainforest animals. natural colours are the best! no spandex, no neon things of any sort, although of course reflectors are useful. but those can be red or white, not radioactive. nigel smythe makes the most beautiful bags that ever graced a means of transport, and i want them, i just can't afford them, and i don't count myself as responsible enough to take care of them as well as i ought for hte next couple of years.
-function: as well as being big enough to hold groceries, i would like to easily remove them from my bike (like, one swift motion) and bring them into shops to use as a grocery basket, and therefore do away with plastic bags, etc. my current wire basket does this quite well, but does not fit on my most functional bike.

so i'm left with decisions. lower expectations and buy something cheap, ugly, badly made, or small.
or i can make my own, emulating the style of nigel smythe, but to my own sizing preferences. so i'm ploting my next trip to goodwill, and their plaid wool skirts section. and old leather belts. hah. it will be amazing.

twenty days till i get married
just over two weeks, and i can't wait. everything about what is happening after august 11th is filled with good feelings and relief and happiness, and i can't wait. sleeping in the same bed, in our new apartment, being in dallas, not being in commerce, whatever new job i have, hopefully at borders. camping on the way to colorado. being in colorado instead of texas. settling down and being together, instead of apart, forever. moving all of our fun new (and old) things into our pretty yellow and blue apartment.

everything during the next two weeks, however, i am a little more worried about, or just in general not having as much fun with. going to class. being cold in class, not taking good notes in class, going to work, being at work for too long, looking up obscure records while trying not to fall asleep (maria callas, joan sutherland, and pavarotti would haunt my dreams), being away from mark, seeing mark with alot of other people around. not knowing what to tell people to do during the week while i'm busy with school. packing, cleaning, living with people other than mark, having more and more people around.

but also i'm excited about the things coming up. some of them just because of what they represent, but also because i hope they will be fun too: painting our apartment, hanging out with mommy and daddy, having christy here, going to letourneau together, graduating, moving stuff into our apartment, setting things up for the wedding, seeing friends, even if just for a little bit. i'm so glad i'm finally graduating.

and i really hope i get a good job.

i'm done with the paintings, i think. (not that it matters, because it's too late to do anything about it.) i'm eating brie and whole grain bread, and drinking my secret stash of elderflower drink, to celebrate (and alleviate). i'm doing laundry, i've unpacked, am ready to repack, and am thinking 75% positively about this weekend, and deena living with me for a month.
and the washer's making a weird noise.
i accidnetally took an hour long nap this afternoon, so i'm surprised i have time to sit a breathe before vaughn comes over. i'm surprised i'm able to force myself to eat something.
i still need to clean my room: as in, my art stuff has taken over and is eating everything, and i need it to be fit to have someone sleep on the floor comfortably. probably even take apart and pack my easel. showering would be good, and making sure my laundry gets done, so i can have things to wear this weekend, and into the next weeks.
i'm looking foward to being married. it will be nice. nice to be around mark, without anybody else, which is not likely to happen for a while. nice to be able to eat with someone else, to eat at all. to have someone around ever, who is such a positive influence in so many ways. to have my own kitchen, refrigerator especially. to have my own bathroom that people aren't stealing TP from. seriously guys.
the wedding, we'll work on that. but being married, i can't wait.